loving like angels, living like devils
by jadediabla
Summary: no one would admit it, but their group began falling apart long before they disappeared that night. everyone was rushing to get in one last kiss, one last song.


_I've had this idea for a while. I hope you like it, sorry if it seems a little rushed. If it does, it's because I rushed this lol. I don't own Victorious._

* * *

Andre loved them both. Everybody did. Jade had once captured his heart, and in truth, Tori did too. Though they hated each other, they both radiated a sort of magnetism that made them irresistible. Everyone who knew them was a little bit in love with them, it was hard not to be, and they were a little bit in love with one another. They walked the fine line between love and hate hand in hand.

It was obvious. Jade and Beck were over for a long time, though they'd only been broken up for a short while. When they first broke up, everyone thought Jade would be the first to leave, but she didn't. She ate with the group everyday and acted like she always would. Everything went on as usual, except Jade and Beck's constant bickering wasn't a problem anymore. Then things started changing. Jade no longer had Beck to spend all her time with, and branching out in their little group of friends caused her to open her eyes a little.

It was hard to miss the way Tori and Jade looked at each other after that. It was so intense, even Cat would start to tense up. They looked like they were trying for seething hatred, but ended up with longing and lust. Something had to give. No one know's who caved first, maybe they caved at the same time, but it caused a shift in the group dynamic.

Jade's insults were harsher, always with that extra drop of venom. Tori never hesitated to retaliate, and it was clear that Jade's sharp-tongued nature was rubbing off on the brunette. But if you were looking for it, you'd notice the little, out of the ordinary things they did that really changed them. Taking sips of each other's drinks, brushing hands, borrowing textbooks or lipgloss. They weren't friendly exchanges, they were warning signs, they were red lights. Andre just chose to ignore them and keep driving. They felt like green.

Eventually, Tori stopped trying to cover the marks that littered her neck after every party that Jade attended. Jade no longer cared to fix her lipstick after both girls exited the janitor's closet. Never together. Ten, thirty, sixty seconds apart. Nobody dared say anything, but it wasn't a secret or a surprise. It was inevitable.

Their group began falling apart long before Tori and Jade disappeared that night. No one dared admit it, because it was easier just to blame it on the impulsive girls for leaving. They were all drifting apart. Sometimes, Andre felt like everyone else knew that their days with each other were numbered. Everyone was rushing to get in one last kiss, one last song. When they left, it was the end. Andre knew it was him, Beck, Cat, and Robbie's faults. There must've been something they could've done to salvage their broken friendship before it was lowered into the ground.

No one knows the whole story. When the police investigated the car wreckage, they found no reason for the accident to happen. Jade, who was driving, was sober, Tori too. They were safe, on an open road somewhere outside of West Hollywood.

Andre would often have nightmares about what it must've been like to find Jade's car wrapped around a tree. It's ironic, because if it were a movie scene, she'd be the first to laugh. She would've loved it. She would've said it was such a lovely way for her to die. Nature brought her to life and was her killing force, too. The police ruled it a suicide, and anyone who didn't know better believed them.

Maybe if it was just Jade, he'd bite. Though he knew she wasn't suicidal, she wasn't exactly predictable. No one could tell when she just had enough. But he knows that wasn't the case. In no world would Jade ever be so self destructive and careless with Tori. She loved her too much.

Sometimes, when he wasn't able to fall asleep, Andre would think about what he could've done to save them. Something he could've said or done, as if he could've convinced them to stay. The more he thought about it, he realized that they didn't want to be saved.

Some people thought they were planning to run away, and it seemed reasonable, but they didn't have anything with them. Going through the rubble proved that true. The only thing they found in all of Jade's totaled car was broken kite in the trunk. They buried her with it.

What Andre did know about that night, was that the last time he saw them both had been in Beck's RV, with Tori in his lap and Jade shotgunning some smoke into his lips from a joint that Cat procured out of nowhere. Before they left, Jade pressed a lingering, unexpected kiss to Andre's cheek and told Beck she loved him. At the time, he didn't think she meant it. Cat asked to have a sleepover, and Jade shut her down. Tori left without saying a word. It was like she knew.

Andre went to sleep that night to the sound of police sirens. He ignored them.

Hollywood Arts held a vigil on the first day back to school. He didn't cry. No one who really knew them did, not even Cat. Beck didn't show.

They lit some candles. Some people spoke. Cat tried to say something, but she couldn't get anything out once she reached the microphone. She would open and her close her mouth over and over, maybe trying to find words, maybe trying to hold them down. She grew up with Jade. Maybe she knew how much Jade would hate that goddamn vigil. Cat, looking ghostly pale and extremely overwhelmed, stepped down from the stage after a while, looking like she'd aged twenty years in two weeks.

Apparently, that day was the first day Jade's parents were in a room together for ten years. Mrs. West cried into Mr. West's shoulder the whole time, grabbing fistfuls of his jacket as he stroked her hair. Jade would've hated that, too.

Tori's parents sat in the front row, sniffing quietly. Trina didn't come. Andre found out later that she was boarding a plane to New York City. She just wanted to leave, she said.

At school, it felt like something shifted in the air. Andre knew both girls were popular, but in their absence, he realized they were legends alone, notorious together.

He didn't know who started it, but by his third day back to school, both girl's lockers were open in memorial. Tori's was filled with flowers and stuffed animals, empty sympathy and acknowledgement. Jade's was filled with scraps of paper. Notes. She wasn't very approachable alive, after all. Everyone, even ninth graders who she sometimes bullied, left her notes of admiration or even fear. _You were so talented. You were so smart. It feels different without you here. I feel too calm. Where are you?_

Someone started leaving Jade's homework there, too, like they hoped she'd come back, turn it in, and get the straight A's she always did. Secretly, Andre hoped she would, too.

Beck didn't come to school for a whole month. When he came back, the rotting flowers in Tori's locker began to smell, and Jade's locker began to look like a shredder, but no one dared to empty them. Beck could barely walk past them. He was different when he returned. Angry, like he was trying to fill the spots Jade left empty. Andre caught him crying in the janitor's closet one day, and when he asked about it, Beck swung at him and went home. Andre wondered if he loved them both, too.

Cat was helpless without them. The boys stayed with her most of the time to help her deal with her life, but he could tell there was something missing with her, something that would always be missing. Her bright, innocent eyes now looked tired and aimless. She stopped speaking as often. Sometimes, when everyone was looking particularly upset, she'd say something to try and cheer everyone up, but only ended up looking as dejected as she really felt.

Robbie stopped carrying Rex around. He realized there were bigger things he had to worry about. Dealing with grief and the nakedness of being without his alter ego, the rest of the group noticed that Robbie had a darkness to him that they were only used to hearing through Rex. Robbie stopped talking too.

Andre was the only one who didn't change. Well, he did, but not like his friends did. Someone had to hold them together. He liked to think it's because he was strong, but then he'd just be lying to himself. Deep down, he knew it was coming. He knew which song would be the last he sang with Tori when he wrote it.

But also, he knew they weren't _really_ gone. Everyone was neck deep in grief and denial to see it, but he saw it all the time. Andre thought he was going crazy, and maybe he was, but he didn't really care.

Sometimes, he liked to go to school at 4 AM to just have time to think, but also to be somewhere where he knew that they were. They were homesick. At first he thought he imagined it, but he could recognize Tori and Jade's voices together anywhere.

 _Shelter my eyes from the sun_

 _And wait for the birds to fly by_

 _Trying to reach everyone_

 _And know what you're feeling inside_

 _Deep in my head now it's like a dream_

 _Goodbye_

When he went up to the rec room to see who was playing the song he wrote with the two girls, the room was empty. The whole school was empty save for him and Tori and Jade, who he missed so dearly, snickering as they ran down the hallways. They were there. They were always there.

Jade liked to hide his car keys, take the batteries out of his keyboard, steal his wallet, just to fuck with him. She was always a bitch like that. It made him laugh every time. Sometimes, he heard her laughing with him.

Tori was different. She'd turn the oven off when he knows he left it on. He would leave it on on purpose sometimes, to see if she was still there, and she always was. She liked to get his mail for him, too, and whenever something looked interesting, Jade would open it and read it. He always knew he had something to look forward to when he came home to open envelopes strewn on the kitchen counter.

They were there with him, but more importantly, they were there with each other. He knew it when he saw an unfolded scrap of paper in Jade's locker that had nothing on it but a scribbled heart and a small 'T'. He knew it when he found one of the scissors on Jade's locker gone, and all the flowers in Tori's locker cut off their stems.

Even in death, they hadn't changed a bit. Not there, but not gone. It was comforting to know that a love like theirs would never truly die.

* * *

 _So, does this count as character death? I can't tell._

 _I started writing a one-shot to go along with this, except in Tori & Jade's point of view. It's a lot lighter than this – think Jade attempting to haunt all their friends and Tori trying to stop her, or the two of them traveling the world as annoying gay ghosts. Jade wants to see New York. Tori wants to see Spain. You know, the usual. Although, I don't really think I'm going to finish it because I like the darkness of this one._

 _Anyways, there should be a little review box right under this. Type something in it and press send. Seriously, even if its a bad joke or a pick up line. I'm thirsty for messages._

 _Adios._


End file.
